Just a small update

 

I don't know where I left off the last time I wrote in my blog. Evelyn and I have lived in Norman for the last year.  We've became part of a wonderful community and in the beginning Evelyn really wanted to go back to Texas but I think She finally likes it up here. She mostly just misses her sons but she talks to them every day and I think that helps her the most. We have kept ourselves busy serving the community and others as well as attending Bible Study and Church. For the most part every thing has worked out up here. I can't think of anything up here that I have had to worry about up here. I started having panic attacks a few months ago, I've had them for years but they've become more frequent.  Pinpointing my triggers has been easier since I don't have many triggers up in this area. I started a job a few weeks ago and it has been going really well. I like it. I also start CNA classes next week. I don't know what I will do. Radiology School starts next August and I'll have to pay for it myself, so being a CNA will help pay for that but saving will get me a head. I'll just have to do some math and figure out my expenses.  I talked to my grandma the other day. <3 I love and miss her. My ex-husband told me he would bring the kiddos to come visit me and he didn't.but both of us have busy lives. So that is something we both have to work around. 

I've been using my brain all day and I am mentally exhausted. I have to work in the morning but hopefully I can write soon with something exciting and good because the holidays are soon. I'm getting really sleepy now so I'm off to bed. Sweet dreams.

Natalie

Lets do a follow up.

 I haven't written in a long time. I think my last post which is private is from the day I wrote and talked about how it was my first day living in my car. I lived in my car for a year. Its an interesting story but not one I want to type out at 11 p.m.  I will probably type it out over time. I need to get back in the habit of blogging. Its always been therapeutic for me and clears my mind.  This site is basically the same as it has always been. I shouldn't have left this blank for so long.  I really have been busy but I could have blown this blog up with the things that have going on in my mind. Other than living in my car, I ended up homeless and moving 2 hours away to a part of the state that I've never lived in. Surrounded by a community of people that I've never been immersed in ever and its really opened my eyes to more than just my needs and wants, and to people who are undervalued in the community as well as my passions in life. The only downside to any of this is that I miss my children terribly. I talk to them every day. They are wonderful smart, but they're the sweetest little babies I could have ever had. I love them so much. I've been applying for jobs like crazy and I finally got offered 2 jobs and I'm taking the one closet to my house, its a full time job.  I  was accepted into surgical tech school but couldn't start in August, but I can start next fall, no big deal... or I can always apply to law school. if I work real hard, there are some scholarships I may be eligible for. It would be a long term commitment. I have to think about this one but I have plenty of time to mull it over. 

Something else that has happened, After years of not having any relationship with Evelyn, she randomly called me one day and told me that she got out of jail and that no one would go get her. So I drove an hour and went to get her.  I didn't even recognize her.  Her personality was completely different. I knew something was wrong. I took her to Carl Albert and She was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. She stayed with me for 4 months and then went to stay with Elisha for 8 months and then Elisha dropped her off with me in the middle of the night and Evelyn was in withdrawal. I had never seen her like that. My heart was broken. Elisha has not spoken to me since October. I have kept Evelyn off of drugs since then and she has been on medication for her mental illness. Its been difficult at times but Evelyn is doing much better than at her worst. 

I'm getting really tired now and I have church in the morning so I'm going to go to bed. I'll write more later.

Sweet dreams

Natalie