Its August. I feel a little better since my last post but I still hurt. They say time heals all wounds but these wounds are deep. I've never felt anything like this. I've been going to church since everything happened. I've realized a lot of things. This experience has been really painful. I don't know how long it will take me to get over all of this.
Last night at church Pastor Duane spoke about patience about how when we endure painful things its our faith that is being tested. its our love for God that is being tested. I had asked God earlier in the night why all of this was happening to me. Why it was me that had to feel all of this. As Pastor Duane started speaking about patience I remembered the last time I heard a similar message. I was a senior in high school and I was in a lot of pain. physically, mentally, and spiritually. The pastor who was visiting the church I was at delivered a message I had never heard before. He said God didn't do this to you! So quit blaming him.
Honestly I've never blamed God for anything I've been through I just don't think I've turned to him to help me out of it either. That sounds just as bad.
