Its just Monday.

First, I didn't write yesterday. I spent the whole day with my husband.

Today is going by pretty fast. He doesn't have another day off until next week.  The days he has off work go by much faster than the days he's at work.  It must be because I wish he were home all of the time.

Raegan is currently asking for a bucket of water.  She saw me washing the cars so I gave her water, she proceeded to go in the house and pour all of the water out in the living room.  So I'm ignoring her requests for water.

Brian is playing his stupid playstation xbox game thing.  Some day... I plan to hide those stupid game systems just to see him freak out. :)

There are men outside working on our foundation.. messing with rebar and leveling the dirt. 

Today we drove to McAlester, I had to get a copy of Raegan's birth certificate so that I can get her enrolled in headstart.  It was a nice trip. Brian drove me around the old prison up there...and we talked about how old it was...among other things.

We ate a little lunch there, and.....we've only been home 2 hours or so.. I'm starving again.  Breastfeeding makes me hungry and thirsty allll the time.  I drank a huge glass of water a few minutes ago because I read that sometimes your brain can get hunger and thirst confused.... and of course I still feel like my stomach is a raging monster ...... I'm soooo hungry.

I decided I'm going to try the whole working out thing again.  Hopefully I won't be disturbed, and it'll give me something to do during the day, to pass time while I'm waiting for Brian to come home.  I can take Raegan and Luke, there is a play area, but I'll probably just wear Luke in his wrap while I walk on the treadmill.  I prefer walking on the treadmill over walking around aimlessly because I can keep count off how far I've walked, rather than just guessing.  I also told Brian that I want to buy one for my own personal use...and for him NOT to tell me I won't use it.. because it pisses me off.  He kind of said the same thing about breastfeeding.. and I have been successfully breastfeeding for 4 months now...and every time I bring up that he's a pessimist..he says "he just didn't think I'd do it".... I keep telling him that he should be more encouraging.

So my hope is that I can entertain myself in my home, in our HUGE living room.....(a treadmill will also fill empty space..) but I won't have to worry about being bothered or interrupted because I can lock the doors, and keep the blinds/curtains down and closed.   The last time I tried to go walking with Raegan and Luke around the block..I had a 140 lb weight following me.

If you don't know what I mean... I can't explain it publicly but I might discuss it privately.

Sigh. I can't stop thinking about food.  Brian owes me a hot fudge sundae.  Shut up. I know I don't need it.. but my body wants it.  I will feast on what I want until Friday.  Then Monday I will make myself start exercising. To be honest I have to make myself. I'll never be happy if I don't.  I can't even stand to look at myself in pictures or the mirror.  I probably have a little bit of body dismorphic disorder, but I know that no one is perfectly content with their body... I'm just kicking myself for ever thinking I was fat at 150 lbs.. which is a completely healthy body weight for my size and height.  blah... one sundae won't hurt right? LOL.

Ah. I got distracted with a phone call.. I had to confirm our brick choice, paint choices, and the shingle choices.

:) Someday I'll be happy that I'm recording this whole building a house process.  Right now its stressful and boring, but someday.. I'll be in our home and it'll be great.

fooooooood...

I'm going to go find food.

Natalie