Sunday, September 28, 2014

Updates! Birth Story!

It has been a few months since I have updated my blog.  I think now is the perfect time.  I graduated from ECU with my Bachelors degree in May.  I applied for graduate school and got accepted! I've been taking classes since August and everything has been going well. Anna went home in June. :( We miss her dearly.  We decided we would take on another foreign exchange student so we chose Katharina! We picked her up from the airport on August 19th. She has been a lot of fun.

So now on to why I am writing.  I believe I mentioned in a previous post that we found out we were expecting our third child who was due in October. My pregnancy had been pretty easy, no weight gain or loss. Nausea had subsided. but in the last couple of weeks I had become increasingly tired.  My blood pressure was high at every single appointment I attended....but there was never any protein in my urine so the dr. said I was fine, and he wasn't concerned about anything.  In the last few weeks I had kept telling Brian I didn't think I'd make it to 40 weeks. Probably for no other reason other than I was exhausted and ready to have baby.  Pretty sure I complained on face book every single day about rolling in bed and being exhausted.   So at my last appointment I was 34 weeks, my bp was much higher than it had been at my previous appointments.. and Dr. W said I should come in if I felt like my blood pressure was up. Tuesday came around and it was the day before my 36 week appointment. I felt super tired, and although I had had swelling for a few days it had went down some from earlier in the week.  Brian being the man I married, knows my love language. You know the one "do everything you can to annoy your wife".. and I knew my blood pressure had gone up from being annoyed but a little while later I didn't feel like it was going down like it should have once I was calm.
I told Brian I was going to walmart to check my blood pressure, and it was 157/109.  I called Dr. W's office while walking down the shampoo aisle and the woman on the phone told me that I should go home and rest for 30 mins or so and recheck my blood pressure.  I felt fine except a little shortness of breath so I bought a blood pressure monitor, went home.. laid in bed.. and checked it again where it was 146/103 and.. I called the office back.. the nurse told me to go ahead and come in to be evaluated...
soo I showered, and left Brian home with the kids because I was sure I'd be sent home.. you know me. I'm paranoid about every thing. I called Cathy and asked her to come sit with me because I'd be by myself otherwise.  She didn't hesitate to meet me at the hospital... My blood pressure was high still something/105 and then some time went by and my blood was taken.. and my urine.. then a few hours later a nurse comes in and says "Well you have pre-eclampsia, so you are having baby tonight er.. in the morning".. This is the part where they began my induction.. My first round of cytotec was given at midnight.. I can't tell you what happened between midnight and 4 a.m. lol pretty sure I wasn't asleep, Cathy was snoring.. and.. the nurse came back to check me .. I was still at 1-2 cm.. so I was on my 2nd round of cytotec..and at 7 am I started feeling some painful contractions on the lower half of my stomach.  So my lovely nurse Kay checked me and said I was 6-7 cm. .. I told her if my water broke baby was coming fast so she went to get things prepared, Cathy had to leave for work and I had to call Brian to tell him to get there fast because baby was coming soon.
I spent the next little bit by myself. clawing at the bed because my contractions were so incredibly painful. The next thing I knew the anesthesiologist was there for my epidural.  He told me he had enough time for one stick.. because he was sure I was ready to deliver. I told her him I didn't have time to go over the consent stuff. So he gave me the epidural and I could feel baby's head right where it should have been   I was 9 cm and my water still hadn't broken.  Dr W. was sitting on a stool/roll-y chair and asking me to slide down in the bed where they'd put my feet in stirrups.
The next part is fuzzy. apparently the combo of an epidural and magnesium can make your blood pressure plummet.  I remember the anesthesiologist in my face saying that he was going to give me a shot of epinephrin and then asking me "hey didn't I see you the other day?".. lol he had put Luke to sleep when Luke had his dental work days earlier.  My face lost all of the color and my hands were bluish (from what I remember)  I was so extremely tired, too tired to cut the umbilical cord and so Dr. W cut it and Brian walked through the door.

The rest is fuzzy. I remember being rolled down to my room, and Brian talking to me, but I was so in and out of it.. I was so sleepy ..I kept nodding off.. but by that night I felt a lot better. Callie Elizabeth Jane was born at 8:45 a.m. weighing 5lbs 3.6 oz. As healthy as could be. 

I never even considered that I could have a preemie baby but I did.. and she's so tiny and cute. I love her already. Raegan and Luke are in love with her.  She has a full head of dark blonde hair.

I'll think of more to say later.


Wednesday, July 4, 2012

What is in a home.

I imagine that some people believe I get too excited about things that happen in my life.  I don’t shut up about it, and I hate to think that anyone would be jealous or think I brag.

I don’t feel like I brag, and I’ve spent most of my life feeling jealous of those around me. And why anyone would feel jealous is beyond me.  I believe wholeheartedly that although there are things in our lives we can not control or change, there are things that we can do to change the outcome of negative situations.  I believe I am in 100% control of how happy I am.  I do battle depression, and anxiety, and anger. And I do get jealous and I feel like “nothing is fair”… but I live for myself, and my happiness.  I strive to live a life that is better and leaves an impact.  I want to make a difference in my children’s lives.

To explain what our new home means to me, I would have to explain to you where I’ve came from and the things I’ve experienced, and most importantly the things I’ve felt.  I find some of these things hard to talk about because not everyone experiences this, and not as many people would understand.  My little sister and I grew up with my mother who was mentally ill.  We lived off of her disability check. 500 dollars a month.  Hardly enough to survive on.  I have no memories of family get togethers, or dinners, or anything of that sort.  My mom never cooked Christmas dinner, or any other meal for the holiday.  Churches always brought us cooked hams and turkeys.  There was nothing wrong with it, it kept our bellies full.  But I lacked feeling secure, or feeling what it was like to have a close knit family. 

Another thing I experienced, is that we lived in multiple places, and had very little furniture.  My little sister and I, along with my mom all shared a bed, usually it was a twin sized bed.  This was until I was 13, and placed in foster care.  Most of the time we didn’t even have a couch.  At one point I remember us having a big seat from the back of a van, in our living room.  We used that as a couch.

I understand that my mom was mentally ill, and lacked the funds to provide everything she probably wished she could for my little sister and I.  and I am aware that the things I did not have growing up were materialistic things.  But I did lack security, and closeness.  Once I was in foster care, I spent every holiday in someone else’s home, with someone else’s family.  I had plenty of food, and a bed to sleep in.. but I changed home 8 times.  All of which had different beds, and nothing was my own.  There were several times when I changed homes, that I didn’t even get all of my own belongings.

I am grateful that there are families who take children in, and give them homes.  But even with being taken care of by a family, those families had their own children.  And I can’t say that watching those parents with their own children didn’t sting.  I found great friends through my experiences, but there was always that little part of me that asked Why can’t I have that, why do things have to be like this?

I’ve found that since becoming a parent to two beautiful children, I am not as bitter.  I actually feel like I have a purpose now.  My husband and I are not rich by any means, but what we are blessed with is allowing us to change our children’s lives.  I am so excited to have a home, a single home, ONE HOME, that my children can grow up in.  I have no intentions of moving, or selling.. This is OUR home, that I can cook dinner in, and live in.  We can create and share memories in this home.  I look forward to family get-togethers, and birthday parties.  I look forward to having the kitchen counters covered in candies and deserts for the holidays.  I want to make every celebration a big one.

I look forward to Raegan and Luke having their own bedrooms.  I did not have a room to myself until I was 14.  I want them to have their own beds, their own furniture.  I want my children to feel as though they’re needs are being met, and that they’d never wish things were different.  The role I play in my family is important.  I am aware that even though I desire to give my children a wonderful life, there are still children who will experience the things I did, or worse. I wish I could provide a wonderful life for every child. I wish every person cared as much as I do.  The love I provide for my children, along with security, and stability will play a huge roll in their lives. Even my desire to continue and graduate from college is increasing the odds of them graduating from college.  I hope that my love and support will help develop them into loving, caring, passionate and responsible adults.  Adults who will someday show their children as much love as I show mine. 

Having a stable home is so important in a person’s life.  While I am excited to have a new home, the fact that its new isn’t as important as the life of the home.  I am happy to have a functioning kitchen, plumbing that works.  More square footage, and level floors.  I am also thankful for a roof with no leaks, and a solid foundation.

I feel like I’ve rambled enough.  If only I felt comfortable sharing everything I’ve experienced in my (almost) 24 years of life, then you’d really get a better understanding of how big a deal this really is. 

-Natalie

Friday, June 29, 2012

Milestones!

Brian is getting ready for work at the moment, Luke is bouncing and.. I just finished off a hazelnut iced coffee. Holy moly. I feel like I'm on crack.  I can't wait for Brian to get off work, we need to paint trim and doors.  Some guys will be here next week to hang the doors so I'm ready to get all of this painting done.

Yesterday was Luke's half birthday!  I can hardly believe he's already 6 months old.  It was just yesterday that I was driving Brian nuts with my baby fever.  I NEEEEEEDED a baby. wellllll now I've got a baby and I do NOT have baby fever..lol.  Most days I feel like pulling my hair out.  I love my children but God did not grant me with the patience thats needed to take care of children.

Luke has started babbling more, and he can get up on his knees.  I watch him repeatedly throw himself forward.  He flops onto his stomach.  Figuring out how to use those long dangly things that lay limp on the floor seems to be really frustrating to him.  He's pretty sure that they don't work, and that I am crazy for encouraging him to continue.  and He probably thinks I look like an idiot while I smile and coo and say "Good boy!" as if he were a dog who just rolled over.

So really thats about all thats going on right now.  Next week is the 4th of July, and Raegan's half birthday! Maybe we'll make a cake.  I'm not sure how she'll like the fireworks.  She really doesn't like loud sounds. buttttt I'd feel bad for her missing such a beautiful display of colorful lights.

4 weeks into the Summer semester and 12 assignments later, I still have 100 out of 100 points in both of my classes.  Now if I can keep this up, I will have A's in both of my classes and on my transcript.  It makes me feel good.. I think the only A I got in any class in high school was in Music.. which was a lot of fun, but felt like a bird course.  So having an A in both of my Psychology classes is saying a great deal on my part!  I think the only other A I have on my college transcript, was in Intro to Psych.  So maybe that says a little bit more.

In other news, today is going to be a beautiful day.  Beautiful yes, and HOTTTTT yes.  Last summer was ridiculous. It was 112-116 degrees the whole month of July.  This is the end of June and its been 100-104.. which is better but its still hot, we have barely any shade in our yard... so in the evenings we've been going to Brian's mother's to swim in a pool we put up.. so Raegan can swim in the shade in the evenings.  She realllly enjoys it.

Well I'm surprised I got this much typed on my own without kids screaming. So I shall end this before they change their mind about allowing me to concentrate.

I hope anyone who reads this has a wonderful day, and is super blessed.

Natalie

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Insert title here

I haven't wrote in a few days.  I am so flustered by a screaming baby and my inability to focus on anything. I love being a mom but its just been one of those days. If Luke isn't screaming, Raegan is.  

BLAH!

So I'm typing with one hand.  The house is coming along.  We've been painting for a few days now.  First the blue paint I chose for the walls turned out to be a lot bluer than I expected. No big deal.. its still pretty.. but A few people joked that my house looks like a bag of skittles. ;)


the doors and trim were delivered today so we'll be painting them soon.  

I feel better since I had my seizure. I felt weird for a couple of days, and my muscles are still sore.. but I am doing better.  

I dont know what to say. I can't think. So I shall post some pictures and RUN.

bangs head on desk.





Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Well that was freaky.

I've been slacking off..so I'm laying in bed and figured I should update.Soo let me begin with Friday. Brian had to work Friday so I spent most of the day painting by myself. I'm excited for this house but I haven't done manual labor in a couple of years. Call me lazy but painting a ceiling is hard work.I got most of the ceilings done in the house. Then Saturday I woke up with a migraine. I hate the stupid things. It was by far one of the worst I've ever had. I took many breaks but I tried to paint as much as I could before Brian had to go to work on Saturday. I ended up giving up halfway through the afternoon because the nausea was so bad. My arms and legs were going numb. I was light headed too. Brian went to work and came home a little bit later. Brian says the last thing I did was lay down and ask for a cup of water and Tylenol.The next thing I know an IV is being jabbed into my arm and a man tells me I've had a seizure and I'm in route to the hospital via ambulance.He kept asking me questions. I could barely answer my name and age. I didn't even remember that I was breastfeeding Luke until they mentioned giving me Valium but I was coherent enough to tell them I didn't have a pump and they just gave me a shot of phenergan. They did a ct scan and monitored me because my heart was beating fast. But after 2 hours they finally let me come home to sleep. The dr told me that I should most definitely follow up with my neurologist. I read that if you've had a seizure then you are more likely to experience one again in the future. It was the freakiest thing I've ever experienced. My arm has a huge bruise from the IV.I still feel weird, no appetite and I cried all morning. I feel emotional. I read that feeling depressed after a seizure is normal. I don't know if it was caused by my body being stressed from the migraine or the paint fumes. But this is exactly why I lie low during my migraines. I'm not a hypochondriac and I wouldn't wish these migraines in anyone. I've always been paranoid that I would end up having a seizure. My husband was scared. I could tell just how he told me about it. He said my whole body was convulsing. And that I was breathing heavily and rapidly. It didn't last long but I've never had this happen before.My senses are out of wack. I guess it takes a few days to go back to normal.Oh and I bit my tongue. It is swollen. Blah.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I can't think of a title.

I will begin this post with "Today is a good day!".. :) The most exciting thing is that things are moving forward with our house!  The guys came and hung the sheet rock. And at this moment a group of guys are taping and bedding.. and they'll be doing texturing tomorrow.. So we'll be painting soon!  Tomorrow Brian's sister is going to pick up the paint for our bedroom, the specific color we want is made by Benjamen Moore Paint, and Its sold in Ada.. which is 45 mins from here but only a little ways from her home. So she's saving us a trip.  We still need to go pick up the paint for Raegan's room. I can't decide what I should paint it.  Her comforter is pink and purple and white.. but I also got some green accents. I think I'll choose a lavender purple.. and who knows what we'll chose for Luke's room.

Yesterday we went to Sherman and put our King size bed on layaway, so it'll be paid off by the time we move in.  We also put our coffee table and end tables on lay away.  I'm so excited.

The Summer semester has began.  My classes should be somewhat "easy" this semester.  But I am already experiencing a little anxiety about the upcoming semesters.  I keep telling myself I can do it. How? I don't know...........I hate school. Its not easy.. but I am smart, and I enjoy the subjects I am learning about.. its all interesting... I have too many other things on my mind.  Kids screaming, and other crap.  But I can do this.. I am not the first SAHM who has no help with child care.. I can do this......I can do this....blah.

I think I bit my lip in my sleep. It hurts.. I feel restless. I am going to go clean.. maybe it'll make me feel more productive and better.

I always feel better when I've accomplished something.

Maybe I'll edit this later and add more. who knows.

Natalie

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Haven't I said this before?

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That is my summary for today.  Everything I typed before this gibberish was the same thing I type every day.  Today is a good day, playing with Raegan and Luke, tearing up the house while looking for a toy that Raegan won't forget.  Can't wait for Brian to get home.  Oh and at this moment, random men are hanging sheet rock in our new house.  Yippee. Now I shall go sing the ABC's with Raegan and whatever else I feel like doing.

The end.

Natalie