1 year.

This post is not easy to write. It is not one I have the words for. I have thought back a million times to try to think of what I would say just so I could get this off my chest and no words could possibly release this burden I bear.
A year ago I confronted someone who took advantage of me. I apologized because I knew the situation was wrong even though I had not done anything and the other person involved looked at me and told me "Nothing had happened" and that "there was nothing to be sorry for". I've felt like I've lived the same day over and over again and again...and its been hard to move on. Its like I've been stuck in a loop or raped over and over again even though I have no idea what being raped is like...what I went through was really traumatic for me. I cried every day for 6 months...and then cried every other day..and so on until it tapered off.

I don't know how I'm supposed to move on from this but I do know I have to be able to forgive and not blame myself. This has been the most difficult thing I have ever dealt with in my entire life. I've never been so depressed. I've never been so hurt. I never imagined that this would happen to me. Never in a million years. I've felt like I've had my voice stolen from me. I've walked around for a year and can't say anything to anyone. I've always been this person who has been able to share my life with others but I feel like I can't. No-one wants to hear the things that hurt you. And if you talk for too long they drown you out with what you're doing wrong. Its just hard to explain unless you're in this situation and you've felt this pain. its a physical hurt. I can't make my heart stop hurting. I suppose only time can.

Its just life. Its my life. I'll get through it. I always do.